I wrote this the other day with the intentions of going up in front of an audience for the first time. I’m kind of glad I didn’t, since it’s totally unedited. I didn’t follow through because the event was totally booked, but I still had a good time with my cousin, who did perform with his band. One of these days, I’ll take part in a poetry reading. I still have a lot of work to do.
I Find Myself
I find myself wondering why
I don’t feel bad
after all that didn’t happen.
I learned more about myself
than ever before.
I assumed if something bad happened,
I must feel like shit,
and there’s no good to come of it.
That’s not the case.
I refuse to believe I didn’t grow.
For all that I know,
it might not be over, but
do I want to keep going forward?
I say I don’t want to live in
the past, but now I realize that
living in the past is impossible
because time never stops.
Everything is constantly in motion.
My mind, my world, my love,
my everything. Me.
I can finally let myself
succumb to the pressure of never
being able to freeze time
and change the outcome of past loves,
to where I end up happy
because as long as I keep going
forward, just by chance alone,
I’ll run into someone that
wants what’s best for us.