I wrote this the other day with the intentions of going up in front of an audience for the first time. I’m kind of glad I didn’t, since it’s totally unedited. I didn’t follow through because the event was totally booked, but I still had a good time with my cousin, who did perform with his band. One of these days, I’ll take part in a poetry reading. I still have a lot of work to do.

 

I Find Myself

I find myself wondering why

I don’t feel bad

after all that didn’t happen.

I learned more about myself

than ever before.

I assumed if something bad happened,

I must feel like shit,

and there’s no good to come of it.

That’s not the case.

I refuse to believe I didn’t grow.

For all that I know,

it might not be over, but

do I want to keep going forward?

 

I say I don’t want to live in

the past, but now I realize that

living in the past is impossible

because time never stops.

Everything is constantly in motion.

My mind, my world, my love,

my everything. Me.

I can finally let myself

succumb to the pressure of never

being able to freeze time

and change the outcome of past loves,

to where I end up happy

because as long as I keep going

forward, just by chance alone,

I’ll run into someone that

wants what’s best for us.