Like many of my posts, I wasn’t going to post this, because it would just be weird (it still might be, but I don’t care). Then I realized I shouldn’t feel weird about how I feel in the first place. That’s why I write, and that’s why I have a writing blog: to express how I feel, so I don’t feel so alone, because I struggle to express myself in any other way. I also realize that this is an absolute, unedited mess of a poem, so I’m just going to call it free verse so you have no choice but to deal with it. Sorry, don’t hate me.

 

Can You Believe It?

I look at myself

In the mirror every day

And say to myself,

“I’m happy.”

 

I leave with a smile

On my face and embrace

the day ahead.

But what I know and won’t admit

 

Is that it’s all a lie.

I lie to make myself

Feel better, so I don’t

Go back to that dark place

 

Where nothing exists,

Where I struggle to find a

Reason to wake up

In the morning,

 

Where I never want

To go back to.

 

I put on that smile

In hopes of one day

Waking up

And believing in the lie.

 

I know it’s not how

Things work, but

It’s worth a shot because

If I can find the source

 

Of truth, of happiness,

I’ll forget it was all

Based off a lie

And become reality.

 

But would it be genuine?

Would it matter? Why

Do I go about trying

To figure out how life works

 

Instead of just simply

Trying to live it?

I’ll start today and

let things fall in place.