I think we all have anxiety every now and then regarding how our lives are going, and if the direction we’re heading in is the right one. Right now, things are very good for me. I’m happy in many aspects of my life, but there are days where I try to look back and see if my ten-year-old self would approve.
And then I remember that when I was ten, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I never liked the What would you like to be? question in school. How could anyone know what they wanted to be when the only thing on our mind was video games and playing outside. When did any of the kids who knew they wanted to be cops and firemen and doctors have the time to go over these dreams?
I’m not worried about the direction my life is heading in. Sometimes I worry about the pace at which it’s happening, but I also know that there’s still plenty of time to get where I need to be. I wanted to write this poem because I wanted to bring out those anxieties. Could writing them down help put them in perspective?
What Do You Do When
What do you do when you’re wasting
your life away for something you hate,
but you’re not in a position to change
directions, or you don’t know how
to get others to see — if that matters —
why that change needs to happen?
What do you do when you look
at what you’ve accomplished
and question if it meant anything at all,
knowing where you’re headed isn’t
the right path for you?
What do you do when you decide
this is or isn’t for me, but you have to
stick the course for as long as it takes
to be rewarded for your actions,
but the reward is just another step
in that original, uneasy direction?
If you’re interested in submitting your own poetry, flash fiction, creative nonfiction, short plays, or anything else in between, see my submission guidelines for more details.